The lie I’ve believed for too long…

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The lie I’ve believed for too long…

Posted in : encouragement, Life in General on by : pmr1517 Comments: 3

To give you a little bit of context, I am very seriously looking into the possibility of finishing my degree in special education. The problem is, I received a ‘C’ in my cognitively impaired student teaching class, thus failing.  I had to attend a meeting with the head of the special education department and agree to an “Individual Improvement Plan”.  It was more her coming up with everything while I nodded in agreement while trying (and miserably failing) to avoid crying and hyperventilating. In my defense, I was about 16 weeks pregnant at the time and therefore a wee bit more hormonal than usual. Ugh…still gives me the shivers when I think back to that horrible half-hour, nearly ten years ago.  Yeesh.

Back to one particular morning, though. It’s been about a year now. I was halfheartedly leafing through my devotional bible trying to find the last one I’d read when one page opened up a little more than the others. I decided to skim it. And then I decided to read it thoroughly because it really caught my attention. This particular devotion speaks of the devil knowing perfectly how to tempt different people. The sentence that just about jumped off the page read: “He lays fear in the path of the introvert, planning to hold her back from healthy action and risk.” 

That describes me, to a tee.  I’d been so busy concocting [ridiculous] scenarios in my head of what might happen, that I literally did nothing.  No action, no risk. I sat “safe” for years, letting the enemy hold me back.  The final scripture of this particular devotion was this: 

To me, this is a reminder that my enemy is always, always looking for ways to get under my skin. Always looking for ways to make me believe his lies. Always looking for ways to tempt me (in particular) to inaction.  If I’m not careful, I will succumb to these temptations rather than work to fulfill the purpose God has called me to complete for His glory.

And because I’m *so great* at listening the first time, I had the same idea thrown in my face again, several months later.  I went through the book Made to Crave with a small group of women. One of the first chapters states that Satan knows our weaknesses and creates tailor-made temptations for each of us. Sounds a bit familiar, doesn’t it?  *sigh*

Goodness, it’s been another few months now. I’ve kept myself busy with a couple of part- time jobs and volunteering in my kids’ classrooms. But I haven’t taken any more risks as far as getting myself back into school. Don’t worry; I’m not letting the devil win that easily.

My husband recently reminded me that I once gave a sermon, and it wasn’t bad! Yes, I’m truly an introvert and that really happened.  He assures me that he’s not just flattering me and others thought the same. In other words, I am capable of teaching– something the devil would love for me to stop believing.

It may have taken a decade, but Satan won’t win. I’m done believing his lie that I am not good enough to follow a longing that God himself placed in me when I was formed in my mother’s womb. 

What temptation has been designed uniquely for you?  And what are you going to do to combat it? 

3 thoughts on The lie I’ve believed for too long…

  • Becky February 1, 2018Reply

    Pam, it is so wonderful to see you sharing a vulnerable part of your story-in hopes that it will help others find the truth. It looks like you are ready to embrace the gift of teaching God has given you – in several ways! Praying for you as you bloom into the teacher God created you to be.

    • pmr1517 February 1, 2018Reply

      Thank you! 😁

  • Doris McPherson February 5, 2018Reply

    You ARE good enough!! Thanks for sharing. God will use your obedience in great ways in the lives of children.

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